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If Michael Cohen Isn’t Singing for the Feds Yet, He’s a Fool

(Optional Musical Accompaniment To This Post)

I’m not a lawyer. I just play one in this shebeen. But this sounds like bad news if you happen to be the subject of a multimillion-dollar federal investigation with no end in sight. From the NYT:

Mr. Cohen’s current legal team is expected to stay with him for the rest of the week as they struggle to complete a laborious review of a trove of documents and data files seized from him by the authorities two months ago. But after that review is finished, he will seek new legal counsel, the people familiar with his case said. The issue is primarily over payment of the legal bills of one of his lawyers, Stephen Ryan, according to a person familiar with the discussions.

What is the phrase that describes the moment when your former personal lawyer loses his own lawyers because of the legal fees involved in defending himself against charges based in what he may have done for you? I seem to recall that it begins with “dead” and ends with “meat.”

If Cohen hasn’t begun to sing for the Feds at this point, he’s a fool. If he’s stonewalling because he’s confident of a pardon at some point down the line, he’s a colossal fool, especially since the president* has made quite clear that Cohen is out there treading water in the deep blue alone. There is now a sense of growing momentum in the coverage of the Mueller investigation.

For the first time in a long while, I watched a big chunk of Sean Hannity’s nightly infomercial for the current administration* Tuesday. Sean is still in Singapore, and he’s staying until Friday because he doesn’t want to be in transit when the Justice Department releases the Inspector General’s report regarding the FBI’s handling of-and I can hardly believe I’m typing this again-the investigation into Hillary Rodham Clinton and her emails.

This report is widely expected to take a chunk out of the hides of James Comey, Andrew McCabe, and former Attorney General Loretta Lynch. (Expect the word “tarmac” to appear several dozen times.) It also represents the last big opportunity for Sean and the rest of the president*’s Operating Thetans to delegitimize the eventual findings of Mueller’s investigation into the vast and fundamental corruption at the heart of their cult. So expect to get hit with a massive cloud of squid ink from the official state media at the end of this week, and through the entire weekend.

And, through it all, Robert Mueller will reach across his desk and pick up another file folder.

Respond to this post on the Esquire Politics Facebook page here.

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Content contributor for RR-Magazine. RRM member. College graduate, Porsche enthusiasts. Business owner #EGWheels and big Porsche distributor in Socal. Next step is becoming an official Porsche dealership. Yeap I got it like that! www.egwheels.com #ProfessionalChicana #OfficialPorscheGal #MillionDollaGal in the city of #Onterio Big Inland Empire

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